What to Wear to the Senior Ball

It was much akin to any morning in the ’80s in the house that I grew up. I have four sisters. A typical morning consisted of much debate. Questioning how it would look, if the pants would make someone’s butt look big or if the over-the-top was really the way to go. Crowding around the mirror, pushing your way into the bathroom only to be pushed back out. The endless insecurity of what the hell to wear and how to look.

It was pretty much exactly that. What it lacked in Aquanet it made up for in Orange Seal.

I brought in the experts, asked the online hive brain, I stood in front of the mirror spraying Aquanet workbench making sure there was plenty of Orange Seal to go around. I charged batteries. I cleaned out the frame bag and repacked all the necessities for a weekend trip. I was as indecisive as a teenager trying to decide what to wear for the Senior Ball.

And the decision wasn’t made until the moment I grabbed the bike out of the shed to put it on the car.

Yes, it did make my butt look big.

The Megatower seemed to be the obvious choice. Long travel, big capabilities, fast, fun, good for huckin. It’s also the newest of the two, has all the fanciest of the bits and I’ve only ridden it a handful of times. It’s a dream bike for lots of people, but unfortunately spends a lot of time in my shed not being ridden.

On the other hand, the Vassago Mooseknuckle has an extra R on it just for me. It’s my go to bike, has no dangly bits, has the brakes I love, has the tire size I love, has no rear suspension for the huckings, does have a frame bag that is my favorite color meaning I wouldn’t have to carry all the necessities on my back and has a space fork that I also love. It also gets bonus points for being the bike that everyone voted against.

In the end, the Megatower was left to adorn the wall in the shed and the Mooseknuckle(r) was loaded onto the bike rack and headed to the Senior Ball, er, I mean Moab.

All of this debate, worry and questioning for what? The Annual Girls’ Trip.

For those of you who are new here, I will explain. For those of you who aren’t new here and still just don’t get it, sorry, not sorry.

You see every Fall there is a dudebro gathering that happens. An Alliance member has been involved in this shindig for many years and ends up attending/organizing it. This trip is not very inclusive. Seeing that it is all just guys, his significant other decided to do a Girls’ Trip, but one that was inclusive and beyond gender. The only thing that is kept out, dudebros. So yes, there are males on the Girls’ Trip. Get over it. It’s 2019. Geez!

The Senior Ball Girls’ Trip has evolved into a pretty standard format. Three day weekend starting on a Friday. The whole thing starts off with the leg burner EKG with some combination of the other trails in the Klondike Bluff system preferably with a trip to the edge to hike to the lookout in the park.

Camp, campfire, beers, sleep, repeat.

Day 2 is my favorite. We hit Mag 7 rolling Bulls Run down to Gold Bar, climb up and ride Blue Dot hitting as many of the Blue Dot moves as possible and then ending with a trip through the Portal. That last trail has become a bit of a personal challenge.

For those of you who haven’t had the opportunity to traverse its rock gardens… It starts with some serious exposure. There’s several techy sections as you drop down the side of the cliff. This all culminates with the one move where people die and then a small drop/roller to the point. At this juncture, the trail loses the exposure and turns into a super steep rock garden that drops back to the valley floor.

The challenge that I’ve created for myself is to have a perfect run. That is from top to bottom with no dabs, no do overs and definitely no walking. I do make an exception for the one move where people die because KB made me promise so it’s a mandatory dismount. I have cleaned every move, just not without a dab or having to walk back up and take another run.

Camp, campfire, beers, sleep, repeat.

Day 3 is a quick recovery ride up Hymasa and down Ahab. Fun, fast, plenty of moves to have fun on and then dinner and then home.

The run down Portal is why the whole which bike to bring question was even relevant. I have only ridden Portal once on a full suspension bike and I personally wouldn’t consider the challenge accomplished if I wasn’t on a hard tail.

And I still haven’t had a perfect run. The above video is this year’s attempt.

The Senior Ball was 100 a success. Despite the fact that the bike made my butt look big, the Orange Seal held our tires a bit too much in place so we didn’t get the wind blown look we were really going for and I didn’t get a clean run down Portal. I guess that just means we’ll have to do it all again next year.

Now I just need to decide what to wear to Junior Prom.

P. L. and R.