Apparently someone ordered our May weather for July. Don’t get me wrong, I am in no way complaining. When it is raining in July and the mercury isn’t rising above 100, life is good in SG.
After the blistering heat of June, I was worried that we were going to have a Summer that would melt us all, let alone the ice caps. But as I’ve said before, God loves Mooseknucklers and he smiled upon us with his greatness, and gave us May Showers in July.
Speaking of flowers and Mooseknucklers, this past weekend I ventured to the great polar north of this state to check on the Northern Chapter of the Alliance. I found some players had shuffled but the over all appearance and feel of the Logan Cycling Universe had not changed at all.
Big T has thrown himself head first into the industry, again. I-dog and Keller are still kicking and Lotoja is coming up quick. It was nice to see the Northern Knucklers and high five everyone for still hanging in there, for what reason, no one will ever know.
Most importantly I got to spend two days in the Bear River Wilderness with Mr. Casey “there is nothing erotic about corporate fascism” Anderson. After about 46 seconds, we had completely solved all the world’s problems and we moved on to bigger things, like snack packs and our excuses for developing such a large lunch muscle. If you happen to reside in the Polar North you really should look him up, your mind will never be the same.
When we weren’t solving the world’s snack pack issues, we were discussing the up and coming Third Installment of Slotoja. For those of you out of the know, Slotoja is our bastardization and middle finger raising version of the race Lotoja. The idea is to tour the course in three days, making as many stops as possible especially where greasy spoons are available. Being unprepared and flying by the seat of your pants is requisite.
As I mentioned this will be the Third Installment of Slotoja, the inaugural version I rode with Mr. Anderson. We had originally planned on rocking one BOB, switching pulling duties between the two of us every so many miles. Once we had the one BOB loaded it was obvious that this probably wasn’t going to work. Undettered, we strapped the BOB to my bike and we headed off course to Clifton, Idaho where KC’s BOB was stored.
Once our detour was concluded, we slowly (notice that “slow” is kind of in the name, get it, Slotoja) made our way to Strawberry Spring where we crashed for the night. Seeing that the sky was clear, we through our bed rolls down in the meadow and waited for the darkness of sleep. Then suddenly, a hunter popped in on us all pissed off because we had chosen this little spot to sleep in. He apparently had been waiting for hours for the fauna to arrive so he could kill it. He then attempted to scare us by telling us about all the wolves in the area and how we were crazy for not carrying a gun.
And then he left.
The next day was kind of a blur, mostly because it was so damn windy I could barely see through the tears. And then we rode into Jackson and sat ourselves down at the Snake River Brewing Company and ate veggie burgers. Of course, veggie burgers cannot be consumed without the consumption of beer. So we sat and drank until the Great Green Socks arrived to shuttle us back to Logan. Did I mention we got to the brewery for lunch.
To make this long story shorter, I woke up the next day in Logan with little memory left of the previous night. I found my bike attached to my car outside my apartment. Under the front seat was a giant bottle of Patron. I just smiled and fell down for the rest of the day. So, you know, Slotoja is fun and stuff and you should probably come along. It will be happening the first weekend in September.
Seeing that tomorrow is the 1st of August, you have one month to unprepare.
You also have one month left before the Mooseknuckler Cycling Alliance Moustache Month. You have been warned. I’ll figure out the prizes in the next month, but I guarantee they will motivate you to piss off your wife by not trimming those lip hairs…
Remember to keep the rubber side down whether you are walking or riding cause it sucks when the rubber side goes inverted.
P. L. and R.
Lukas,
If your writing about our triumphant arrival in Jackson, you’ve got to mention nan(?) the crazy woman who we met at lunch and kept running into all night. I think that you two were going to make “Friends of Nan(?) T shirts because she knew every single person in Jackson Hole. I’m stoked for the ride next month
I was thinking about that when I was writing this but all the details were fuzzy, so it got censored by the man. The man, of course, being me.