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The Alcoholic’s Moment of Zen

I met Scarf, aka John Scarafiotti, about a year ago. Since that fateful day, he has become a constant fixture at Mooseknuckler events and has frequented the Lounge (it’s capitalized cuz it’s important). It has been determined that he is a good egg. Unfortunately, he missed last night’s Alley Cat.

I don’t tell you this because he missed the race, rather I would want to inform you about a theory of his that he shared with me one day not so long ago. You see, Scarf, just like the rest of us, likes to imbibe. And he’s pretty good at it. But again, that isn’t the point. I guess this is the point where I finally get to the point which is the following point. John explained to me his theory/philosophy on the Alcoholic’s Moment of Zen (my name for it, not his).

Anyone who is worth their weight in salt has experienced this moment. It usually happens after a few drinks and is right before the too many drinks factor comes into play. It’s a moment when the brain is properly lubricated but not too much so as to lose control. It is the point when drinking alcohol seems like the most perfect thing that any human could possibly do. Unfortunately, once you reach this moment it is imperative that you stop drinking. Otherwise, you fall into a deep state of being wasted and the next morning is not going to be enjoyable.

As I mentioned, Scarf missed last night’s alley cat.

He also missed my sprint finish aboard the crazy blue bike that was carrying a six pack of Full Sail to the Chacon-Pratt Residence for the after party/finish line.

The above picture is not of last night.

Anyway, I was carrying the six pack and sprinting on my beast of a bike to take the win of last night’s alley cat. I am positively sure that I won because I was the fastest, not because of the level of apathy from the rest of the peloton or their lack of knowing that we were to have a sprint finish.

After the photogenic finish that we all experienced with me looking somewhat like a douche bag, hands over my head in victory, we all relaxed and attempted to find the Alcoholic’s Moment of Zen.

Image stolen from Sir Prattipus

From the picture of the front yard taken this morning it looks as if there may have been a few people who went a little past that perfect moment. I, for one, experienced my Moment of Zen about 15 minutes after leaving for the evening, right before I was gonna fall asleep.

I left the party before the fireworks and before all the beer was gone because I had to get up this morning and do a training ride. You see I’m pretty serious about my racing, especially when it comes to the Mooseknuckler Cup so I have to stay in top shape. Even if the Mooseknuckler Cup only consists of racing to the liquor store and then to Bryce’s, I have to stay in top shape for the sprint finishes.

Which finally and ultimately brings me to the real point of this post. I got to pondering and it became evident that I could probably really stomp on the competition in the Mooseknuckler Cup if I wasn’t riding the crazy blue bike, but was instead riding a bike from Foundry Cycles. I can’t be certain, but I’m sure their carbon frame goodness tips the scale a shy bit under the 67 lbs that the blue bike weighs (this weight is, of course, measured when the bike is at its best carrying a case of beer).

And we all know that if I ride faster I will be able to find my moment of Zen just that much quicker.

P. L. and R.

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