Jack Rabbits

As a rule of thumb, I try to snap some photos whenever I’m out and about on the bicycle. For nothing else, it provides me with some filler for these pages when the words begin to run dry and I can see my figurative audience nodding off. I’m not the best photographer as it is a skill that pales in comparison to my ability to not do stuff, but I get a good one every now and then and we all get to enjoy some images whilst perusing the Alliance landing page.

Plus, I’ve found that everyone loves to see themselves on the interwebs.

I bring this up only because there are times/rides that I fail miserably at capturing anything that was going on. This is usually due to one of two reasons. 1. The pace was just too fast for me to actually stop and get a photo without completely ruining or missing the action. Or B. I’m just having too much fucking fun to give a shit about stopping to take pictures.

For example, the Church of the Holy Alliance of Mooseknucklers met for services yesterday at the Cathedral of Guacamole. Which might sound like a cheap Mexican restaurant or a place in a Disney film set south of the border, but in fact it is just one of the mesas here in Southern Utah meaning it’s a place we ride our bikes in worship of whatever it is that we are worshipping.

And the only picture that I got was the one above of Josh trying to climb a line that is next to a plenty difficult line to climb but wasn’t hard enough for him. I rode down this line, but didn’t even try to go up it.

There are times when I ride with someone and their overall stoke level, well, levels me. It’s like following a jack rabbit (which happens to be my token animal) down the trail. They are so distracted excited about everything they see, they can’t quite decide what to try, what to ride, to roll, it’s just too much. Trying to keep up with these people is impossible. Not only are they pedaling at full go, they never want to stop. So even if you do take a break to regroup, their feet never hit the ground because they are too busy finding something rad to ride and could care less about your break.

Fast Eddie was probably the first person I experienced this with. I never saw the kid take a break and multiple times, when I was at full boar just trying to stay somewhere near the back of his wheel, witnessed as he suddenly went into a wheelie and rode away from me like I was standing still.

Come to think of it, it was just one of those moments that inspired my first singlespeed purchase. He rode away and I rode back to the shop and pulled the cheap ass Raliegh rigid bike off the rack and told ’em to take it out of my paycheck cuz I was taking it home.

It’s been a slippery downhill slope since then.

In fact, I had one of those deep, existential crisis moments prior to heading to Guac. I was back and forth for nearly an hour. There, in the Bike Barn (yes, I have a bike barn), was a perfectly good, fully functional, practically brand new squishy bike that I had paid for plenty in order to have it in the quiver. And yet the singlespeed was also ready to go.

I pulled them both out. Felt the stiffness of the rigid fork and then the squish of the Fox. I thought about my hand which I’m still convinced is probably broken. I thought about my shoulders and how sore they had been after the weekend prior.

When it was all said and done, the singlespeed was thrown on the back of the truck. Good or bad decision? I don’t think it matters. One thing is for sure, my hand and shoulders still hurt no thanks to my choice.

And said choice certainly did not aide me in keeping up with Josh. I threw in the towel pretty early on that trajectory and resigned to witness what was happening around me instead of trying to match it. My energy level is way too low (read I’m getting too old for this shit) for that shit.

At this point, I should probably be making a point, but I forgot what it was about four paragraphs ago because I didn’t do my little brainstorm map like they teach you in school. I should probably do that more often.

Oh look, bikes!

If you are in need of some two-wheeled love machine action this weekend, the Alliance has two rides going off on Saturday.

There’s the No Dabs Contest in the morning and the Cruiser Crit in the evening. Join us or don’t, just don’t blame me if your Halloween sucks because of the lack  of stoke or jack rabbits.

P. L. and R.