I feel like a chipmunk stuck in a revolving ball. The cx bike I am riding is geared with mountain gearing from that one day I was being a huge baby and I have hit the end of its ability to keep any kind of resistance to my ever revolving legs. We are either going to be right on time or a couple minutes late. I haven’t had a chance to look at my watch as I’ve been making a death march wind sprint through the City of St. George. I hear a text notification on my phone. I guess we’re going to be late. Luckily, we are close enough that stopping to text back doesn’t make any sense. I continue to spin.
I left the shop an hour earlier with a couple of objectives.
1. Make it to Dick’s to pick up the replacement Mooseknuckler Cup. KB made me throw out the original shortly after we moved into the Mooseknuckler Cycling Alliance World Headquarters. Her reasoning, it’s never going to get used again. Well, that’s 15 bucks I won’t be getting back.
2. Get a sharpie. The Mooseknuckler Cup is pointless if there is no way to make a permanent mark on said trophy leaving the winner’s name engraved on the official Mooseknuckler cod piece.
In my rush to leave the shop, I forgot one important piece to my plan, a lock. Change of course, swing by the hospital to pick up KB who is dropping food for the Meinkey’s who regrettably have been stuck there all week as their oldest daughter suffers through Compartment Syndrome. I find her bike chained up in front of the day care, rear light still blinking. My detour to acquire security for my ride has cost me precious time. As she unlocks her bike, she is yelling at me that she doesn’t want to be rushed. Good thing I’m a patient man.
We detour through the college University and find our spinning as fast as possible on 100 South. We hit the light at a perfect time and we only sit there for a second. KB waits outside as I dash inside and find an athletic supporter and run, still wearing my helmet and pack, to the register. The kid behind it holds his composure and quickly rings me up for my purchase. And then it’s off to Target where the scene is repeated as I purchase the necessary sharpies.
I somehow manage to spin even faster. My butt pops up and down on the saddle is the momentum of my legs shifts through my hips. I begin to pull away from KB just as Confluence Park comes into view. Spenny is leaning up against his truck chugging on a tall boy. There are a couple more cars in the parking lot but none that have bikes attached to them. I ask him where everyone is. He shrugs.
I pull out the flask and take a draw passing it around the truck. We wait and slowly a couple more cars show up with bikes attached and we become a herd of five.
The course was determined by myself by finding Confluence Park on Bing Maps and then picking five spots that I didn’t necessarily know where they were so there would be some navigation and local knowledge needed to efficiently finish the course.
First stop, Liberty Youth Academy. Not to be critical, but to find this place we rode in circles with our phones out watching the dot on the map as the gps tracked us toward the destination. Apparently, this is a secret school that no one knows about and you aren’t supposed to be able to find it. I guess it would be easier in the day when you wouldn’t need a light to see their sign.
From here, the next obvious stop was the Post Office. This is where the race started to get interesting. Spenny and JD sped off in front. Seeing that I was on a cross bike I tried a dirt shortcut that wasn’t so short. I catch back up to the group as JD speeds away and Spenny is taking his selfie. As proof of finding each stop, racers were required to take a selfie to show they actually made it to the objective.
This is where JD disappears as he makes the race winning decision to hit the Maverick at Harmon’s instead of the one on River Road which is where the rest of us went. KB and Ben catch up. We make our way back to Riverside Drive cutting through the post office parking lot. We hit the exit just as the light changes and cars start pouring into the road.
Spenny makes some crazy fixie maneuver and makes his way to the other side of the road and quickly disappears into the night as the rest of us wait for a safer crossing. It finally happens and we spin down the road at a turtle’s pace. We turn into the neighborhoods and start to make our way to Cox Landing. KB knows a secret way and we find ourselves popping out onto the road where the sign is located.
I can’t help but wonder, as we ride away, how no one ever thought that name might not be the best. I mean Cox and there Landing place. It just doesn’t seem appropriate for the conservative nature of Southern Utah. But alas, there are bigger problems. None of us have a clue where Island Grinds is. We have a general consensus that it is located close to Furniture Row. As we near, the phones come out and we start to wander around the industrial park.
And then there’s Spenny. He hollers to let us know that it is just around the corner. We pull up and take our pictures asking if he found Cox Landing. He had not and off he goes in the direction from where we just came. JD is now texting me wondering where everyone is as he hasn’t seen the group since the post office. We head back toward the park.
I reply that we are on our way back. The three of us spin toward the park as fast as we can. We find JD with his bike loaded and completely cooled down. Apparently, going to the Maverick in the Harmon’s parking lot made a hell of a lot more sense as it was more on the way to Cox Landing than the direction we took. Winner crowned.
The flask comes back out and we enjoy a pull. Spenny comes up, flabbergasted that he cannot under any circumstances find Cox Landing. High fives are shared. JD signs the Cup ever placing his name at the top of the Mooseknuckler Cup.
We repair to Player’s for some beers and celebratory story telling. The table is in consensus that this needs to continue to happen.
Until next month.
P. L. and R.
