This past Sunday, the Church of the Holy Alliance of Mooseknucklers held services. The evening prior was the Townie Time Trial which left everyone’s legs feeling like lead. At the Celebratory Celebration After Party for Storytelling purposes, the Alliance slowly made a plan. This process sounded something like an auction as one time was thrown out and then countered creating back and forth banter. And somehow we settled on 10 AM which was sold to me as it being 76 degrees.
I don’t tell lies… When I awoke on Sunday at 7 I was grateful that the winning time was at 10. The morning began and the only way to properly describe it would be a slowly moving rolling shit show. It takes 30 minutes to get to the Santa Clara River Reserve trail head from my house. At 9 I was at the bike shop picking up supplies to bleed KB’s brakes. She was at Jazzy’s getting breakfast and we had zero things ready at the house. We gave up on going about 17 times. I finished bleeding her brakes at 9:20 at which point I thought, we can still make it. And we did albeit a few minutes after 10.
It seems that most people’s morning were going similar. Super D and Kim bailed. Daren was out. Kenny and Heather were running late and for once Joey was right on time.
That promised 76 degrees felt hot, hot enough that I said screw it to the cutoff shorts and went ahead and let the knuckle out of the closet. KB made fun of me, but that’s ok. I had packed my favorite pack, the one that I have had for eight years and just haven’t been able to part with despite the fact that everyone of the zipper pull tabs are broken, the thing is filthy and has an odor that could be described as possessing its own soul. It was loaded with a full three liters of water. I was hoping this would be enough.
I acquired this pack when I was living in the Polar North. I had seen prototypes for a few years prior at the Interbikes Industry Show and was intrigued by the design. The shoulder straps are suspended off the pack by a hinge. This hinge is connected to a stiff external frame that is strapped to the waist with a padded belt. The idea is the belt holds everything stable keeping the weight off of your shoulders and the hinge allows you full freedom of movement without compromising stability.
It works. The original iteration had some manufacturing issues, but in my opinion this is the absolute best riding pack that has ever been designed. Due to some of those issues, the design never really took off. As mine began to deteriorate, it became increasingly difficult to find one (and by difficult I mean I would have to actually call someone instead of just click a button on a computer screen). All in all, this pack never sucked.
With the heat that we did experience during Services, I was sweating profusely. This in combination with some chain lube that had spilled inside my pack, turned the after ride celebrations into, “Holy shit what is going on.” As my lower back turned bright red and burned when touched. After an hour or so, I took some Benedryl and passed out for about three hours. When I awoke the problem had resided and I slowly came to the realization that it was time to say goodbye to what has been the best riding pack I have ever owned. It definitely did not suck…
Anyways (the extra s is for Pratt), let’s move back to the relevant matters of the day. I had three liters of water and I began to suck them down quick. Chasing Kenny and Heather aboard Giggles is a bit of a challenge, not that chasing Kenny and Heather ever isn’t one. In addition to the large ommelot that I wolfed down right before riding and I was in pain.
We had planned to ride Suicidal Tendencies. By the time we got to the top of Sidewinder I was ready to throw in the towel. This didn’t sound like too bad of an idea to Joey either. We said goodbye and the group left us standing on top of the turn off. After a few minutes, I couldn’t stand it any more. The drop in and tight switchbacks just called my name too loudly and I found my self chasing the group once more.
And I’m glad that I did.
Huge tires are surprisingly an advantage when climbing/descending steep, tight, loose switchbacks. Giggles rolled everything beautifully and I was able to have the cleanest ride of my career on that particular trail. The group made it to the next trail split and Joey and I once again let every fade away as we sat and chatted on the possibilities of extending that trail to the other parts of the mesa. After a few minutes another rider started to approach. It was with great surprise that Kimmy came rolling up to us. Especially seeing that we had only been there for about ten minutes and she had started the trail about an hour after us…
The three of us then turned around and made our way back up to Sidewinder. We stopped at the top to witness Kenny cleaning the last switchback and climb out on the single speed. At this point someone yelled, “Fatties to the rear.” I watched as everyone dropped me on the downhill, but I didn’t care I was still giggling the whole time as I bounced over and off of every rock.
Sometimes the sign of a good ride is the fact that no one even thought to stop and document the ride because everyone was having so much fun. That in addition to the fact that it is ok to say goodbye to old friends and wash your gloves every once in a while, were the lessons to be learned from Sunday School.
P. L. and R.
