On Thursday, the Mooseknuckler Backcountry Alliance will be leaving St. George hobo-bound for Yosemite. Brother Meinkey and Ben Crane will be joining KB and I on what is the biggest adventure we’ve had in quite some time. If you recall, the same group of misfits headed into the Yosemite backcountry this time last year. You can read that tale here, here, here, here, here, and here.
If you’ve been feeling withdrawals from my wisdom of the deepest realms, you might want to read those one at a time and give yourself a few days in between. I know I haven’t posted very consistently lately, this is in part due to the impending suffering waiting for us in California. As we have been preparing in ways that may or may not make sense. I apologize for neglecting all of you and hope you can forgive me. And with that said this will be my last post for about a month. Unfortunately, there aren’t a lot of WiFi spots on the trail. (I’m totally lying that’s probably the best part of the trip)
As I’ve mentioned in the past, this trip has turned me into one of the biggest weight weenies in the world. This has lead me to purchase a whole bunch of titanium. Which lead to me sitting on my side porch dressed like a hobo with my pant legs rolled up in my hiking boots cooking ramen. This may seem a bit strange, but I wasn’t about to head into the backcountry with untested gear.
It may seem like a superfluous thing, that of actually cooking in a pot on a stove that will be your food line for the next few weeks, but leaving such things to chance are a bad idea.
Such was the case the second time I went to Havasupai. The trip was on a whim. I received a phone call and two hours later I was in a car on my way to the Grand Canyon for what was planned as a four day trip. This was in the middle of the summer and the Ford Escort we were in was having some “issues.” We had to run the heater most of the time or the stupid thing would overheat. We rolled the windows down and let the not quite as hot air come rushing in.
Due to the quick nature of the trip, I had rushed to Hurst Sporting Goods to purchase a new stove. I had been lusting after the Whisperlite International for quite some time. I rushed in to grab one only to find that they had one left and it was the display model. The dude on the floor offered me a discount and I was back out the door with some white gas, a stove and a fuel bottle. I promptly filled up the bottle and packed everything into my bag.
We arrived in the parking lot on the rim of Havasupai when it was already dark. This was ok as it was one of the few things that we had planned. It was hot and we were hoping to make our way down to the canyon while it was dark and somewhat cool. We loaded our packs and down the trail we went. It quickly became evident that one person in the group was the slowest. This person happened to be the girlfriend of the friend who had planned the trip. We kept a steady pace… And then waited.
After hiking for a few hours, I knew that we were within striking distance for an early morning start and suggested that we take a break and sleep for a few hours. The girlfriend threw a big fucking fit. I was already done with her, so I pulled out my bag and laid down to rest. She was appeased and finally laid down as well.
We got up bright and early the next morning and made our way into the campground. No one was awake so we may or may not have just gone in. We set up camp and began to rest again. Being next to the river and resting was enough for me to forget the bitchy attitude of the girl and try to make peace with her. We did some swimming and other things.
Then it was lunch time. I was pretty stoked to do some cooking as I had my brand new stove. I pulled it out, and started the process of priming it. It quickly became evident that there was a problem. As soon as any pressure was put into the bottle it would leak everywhere. I pulled the thing apart and began diagnosing the issue. There was a crack in the pump.
After it became evident that there was no way to utilize my stove, the girlfriend started going off about how “mechanically inclined” she was and that I should let her have a look. I already knew what was going on, so I reluctantly handed it over. She pretended to take a look and then said some things and handed it back. I was ready to punch her.
There are two things water does to me. It makes me really hungry and really cold. We had been swimming so both had occurred. At this point, we had dried off so I was no longer cold, but I was sure as shit hungry. We ate uncooked ramen. Our four day trip quickly turned into a 24 hour death march. We hiked in, in the morning and hiked back out that night. If three of the four people in the group hadn’t gotten to the point of hating the fourth in that short time, we probably would have figured out a way to stay. But after about 12 hours with her, we were all done.
With that said, I don’t think it was unreasonable for me to be on my porch with my hiking boots on cooking ramen on my stove in my new titanium pot. Nor was it unreasonable for me to then pour the ramen into my new titanium bowl and eat it. I’m sure there will be times when I am hungry in the next few weeks and there will be times when I don’t want to continue, but I sure hope that those things have nothing to do with the fact that I just didn’t test my gear before heading out.
And with that, I bid you all adieu.
This is creation. All that is going on today, only men are blind to see it…They can not pause long enough to go out into the wilderness where God has provided every sparrow enough to eat and to spare, and contemplate for even an hour the wonderful world that they live in.
You say that what I write may bring this beauty to the hearts of those that do not get out to see it…The good Lord put those things here as a free gift that he who chooses may take with joy – and he who will not walk out of the smoke of the cities to see them has no right to them.”
– John Muir
We’ll see you on the flip side.
P. L. and R.
