Do I seem a little frazzled lately?
No? Really? Are you sure we are talking about the same person?
I’ve felt a little on edge the last few weeks. This may or may not be due to the fact that I have bitten a chunk off of something that I wasn’t quite ready to bite into and now it’s moving full swing into a never ending stream of me typing. Sitting here at this keyboard and typing.
Every once in a while, I jump into Photoshop and edit a photo. It’s what I call fun and a bit of a distraction as of late.
Or I may take the time to watch a Prattipus video of him drink exactly three beers and calling himself borracho.
In Chile, the word was “curado.” Which, if you have any grasp of the Spanish tongue you will know means cured. Yes. In the country where I learned Spanish, to get drunk is to cure yourself. The verb is curarse, if you must know.
I’m a little worse for wear lately due to the fact that I have finally decided that I need to finish all these projects I have half-assedly been working on for the past three or four or five years. At some point, I realized I pretty much only work under deadlines. So I set some of those and now I am desperately trying to get in under the time frame.
One of those many projects is the guide book that I have been working on since I moved back from the Polar North. Which in a way was an extension of the guidebook I started to work on and never did anything with when I was in Logan. There’s a deadline, a game plan, lots of maps and now some verbage to tell you how to go from point A to point B and sometimes C in the desert. All with accompanying photos, maps and pictograms.
Luckily, I have partnered with a local graphic genius who is handling the parts of this project that I have zero desire or ability to handle. This leaves me doing the typing and the trail recon. Trail recon helps me keep my sanity. It’s basically riding my bike with a gps on the handlebars and noting what I see and stuff so I can make sure people who invest in this project by purchasing the end product don’t get lost and end up having to eat their own arms.
With regards to all of that, this is the latest section I have written.
Disclaimer:
Our legal department told us that we needed to put a disclaimer at the end of this book. And by “our legal department” we mean the legal department that we would have if we had brains or money. Our legal department, that we don’t have, made it clear to us that we live in a litigious society and that there was a chance that someone would try to sue us over something we had written, or left out or whatever.
We kind of think it’s stupid that our society works like that. So if you purchased this book and are the type of person that likes the idea of litigation, we would ask that you immediately send this book back to us at the below address:
Mooseknuckler Alliance
PO Box 666
St. George, UT 84790
Upon receipt of your returned book we will promptly send you a complete and total refund of the purchase price along with a strongly worded letter telling you that you should take responsibility for your own actions, seeing that you are an adult or at a minimum a living, breathing homo sapien. Beyond that, you are more than welcome to sue us, but the only thing we can give you in return is some empty beer cans and the negative value of our wealth. If you would like to take over our debts, please feel free.
Unfortunately, the world is an imperfect place. This means that despite our top notch efforts trails can and will change. That drop that was super smooth for us and that we may have mentioned, may not be in the same condition when you ride up to it. We, therefore, cannot guarantee the accuracy of the descriptions, maps, words, pictures or sketches contained within these pages. We recommend that you always look before you leap remembering that you only get one Chango Charge. Most importantly, be responsible and we think you’ll be just fine.
We do, however, make one guarantee and that is that there is no way you will end up on a deserted island by reading, using, implementing, following or burning this book. We absolutely guarantee it or your money back.
Yup, that sounds like something that I wrote and something that I would want to read.
This whole guide book thing is on top of my other regular duties of updating all of you on the latest and greatest in Mooseknuckler news, continuing my work on my novel and my manifesto whilst working a full time job. And being a full time drinker.
I leave you with some Duke.
Because I’m frazzled by the jungle that I have created.
P. L. and R.
