This past weekend was the “I have had diarrhea since Easters Celebration.” This was in celebration of the fact that it was the weekend, it was Sunday and the fact that we were all very thankful that the Church of the Holy Alliance of Mooseknucklers does not require us to spend our beautiful, God-given Sundays inside a giant building where they recycle the air and it’s always cold and listen to people tell you what you are doing wrong with your life. Nope, our church requires us to spend the weekend outside enjoying everything that the great lobster in the sky has given us.
And that is exactly what we did.
Benjamin Crane and I headed out a little before 7 en route to the place of the above mentioned celebration, Little Creek Mesa. I must, sheepishly admit, that I have never camped on Little Creek. It may have something to do with the curse or it may not. Who knows?
We arrived at the trailhead a little before 8 and then smartly turned around and drove back to the campsite that I had spotted on the way in. Danny and Kim were on their way out as well and we needed a spot for their big ass tent. How big is their tent? you ask. It’s a big ass ten and there is not an acceptable location for said tent at the trailhead. Luckily, there is a kick ass spot about a half mile before the trailhead that had a nice fire pit and plenty of space for their big ass tent.
This whole adventure started because Benjamin crane was worried about missing church because he was going to church. I’m not really sure how this all worked out, but he was required to attend church and be sworn in as the person who takes the boy scouts and teaches them things. Of all the people I know, he’s probably the most qualified for said job, but his being sworn in was throwing a serious wrench into our all too serious idea that we needed to ride. This hatched the idea of heading out the night before so we could get up early and ride so Benjamin could go to the other church.
So that is what we did.
The only weird stipulation that the Church of the Holy Alliance of Mooseknucklers has for Easters Sunday is that we are not able to take any photographs of the celebration. If we do, we lose our souls and all go directly to a place where no one is allowed to drink beer and bikes do not exist.
Seeing that our faith is heavy, we abided by said regulation. Hence the fact that the above photo is not of our actual Easters Sunday Celebration. In fact, the only photograph I took during the whole weekend was of Kim. It was the night before and was to let KB, who was in Santa Barbara, know that all was well on the home front.
And that was the night prior so no souls were in danger of being lost.
As the Celebration’s itinerary had stated, we arose at the ass crack of dawn. This was about 13 minutes after I woke up to the dogs wrestling, there were five of them in camp, and began to worry about my phone. It was not in my pocket and I could not recall what I had done with it the night before. Benjamin arose from his tomb and got things going. I was a bit slower but finally did make my way over to the fire. There was my phone in my chair. I knew I would leave it somewhere responsible.
We made some coffee. We made some breakfast and we got ready for the ride. By some Easters miracle we were actually on the trail before 8. And by another miracle, we made our way out, did a little custom loop and made it back to the trailhead a little after 9. This gave Benjamin plenty of time to make it home to get showered and wash the Alliance off of his skin before going to church.
At this point, I was almost awake and almost sober. Danny and Kim were still at camp and offered me some breakfast upon my return. I cannot turn down eggs and potatoes, so I said yes and made myself a wonderful little burrito.
We then spent the next hour attempting to determine a plan for the rest of the Celebration. There were two teenagers involved so there was a lot of contrary attitudes just for the sake of being contrary. Finally, we agreed that Danny and I would ride and Kim and the girls would “explore.” I was never sure what that meant.
Super D and I loaded the bikes into the truck and headed back up to the trailhead. We rode and we rode quick stopping only occasionally. We did the West Loop and then continued onto the North Loop. We just rode chatting pretty much the entire time about stuff and people and things. It had been way too long since I had ridden with Super D.
We returned to camp and sat in the shade and enjoyed the breeze, a beer and life on this, the greatest of Easters Celebration Day.
For those of you who didn’t make it, I’m sorry, you are all going to hell.
P. L. and R.