I’ve ridden the Green Valley Race Course exactly three times. Those three times have occurred in the last two weeks. I wouldn’t be lying if I told you that I would have no real idea how to tell you to ride the course or that I would probably take a wrong turn or two if I tried to ride it by myself. This may seem odd as I ride in that area a lot. I just don’t like the race course and feel there are way more fun ways to get up and down that particular mesa. It’s kind of been easy to always convince others to ride something different.
“So why have I been riding the race course with exponentially growing frequency?” You would ask if you were sitting in front of me instead of in front of your computer screen.
And I would respond, “It’s sabotage.”
Then you would sit with your head slightly twisted to the right, jaw open with a look that defines “Huh?”
I would then have to explain, so let’s back this train up a little bit to Valentine’s Day 2014 or in other words, about a week ago. This would coincide with the day after the second time I had ridden the race course. I had just arrived home, via bike, and all I could think about was riding my bike. It was at this point that I penned my most popular post on tumblr which consisted of a short quote, “I just fucking love to ride my bike.”
Apparently there are plenty of people who agree with that sentiment.
Seeing that we are in the way back train. Here’s the only Valentine that I got.
The last two of the three times that I have ridden the race course has been with the local high school cycling team, or at least a version of that team as these are all “unofficial” rides. And I must admit I’ve enjoyed the shit out of being around young Mooseknucklers who dig on riding the dirt. I also cannot deny that I am jealous that there wasn’t a mountain biking team when I was in high school.
Luckily for these young racers, I am there to teach them the ropes (this is also known as sabotaging the competitive spirit). The finer details of racing have been divulged. The Alliance has successfully taught them that “Rubbin’ is racin'” or the mantra for climbing faster, “It feels like burning!” And the most important of all skills that any budding racer can learn, the Rock Block.
You see, racing is half technical ability, half fitness and half strategery. The Rock Block is one of the most effective ways to strategerize your way into first place. The Rock Block is accomplished by slightly lift the front wheel of your bicycle and then quickly wipping the handlebars to one side and then back again. If you are successful, you will have done this while your tire is next to a medium sized rock. This means that your tire meets the rock and sends it sailing directly into the course of your competitors. If done correctly, it will not only knock your foes off of their line, but also inflicts a serious psychological blow.
This Thursday I was even successful in an impromptu No Dabs Contest up the face of the hill at the end of Canyon View Drive. Which I was unwittingly dragged into..
So that’s why I have suddenly started riding the Race Course. Will I be riding it this next weekend when the state’s fast riders descend on SG? Nope. I will however be riding with the Flying Monkeys this coming Thursday.
This week’s lesson, “Grabbing your competitors brakes as you pass them on a hill.” It should be a hoot.
P. L. and R.
