I recently learned their was a thing known as “Hobostyle.” I learnt this whilst perusing the intertubes. Not sure which ones, other than that they were connected to the screen in my office. I’m fairly certain that when I learnt about this thing it was due to something like this #hobostyle. Now that I’m thinking about it, I’m pretty sure it was on the tumblrs which for the uninitiated is Russian Roulette for the internet.
Being a self-appointed sage of hobodom, I was shocked that I had never heard of such a thing and immediately clicked through to see what the fuck it was all about.
What I saw was a barrage of images of people wearing pajamas, camo and boots. I’m not sure what any of those things have to do with style or hobos. I always assumed a hobo’s style was determined more by what he had on hand, what he needed to carry in his hands, the tattoos on his hands and was all tied together by a hat that looked like it had been ran over by a truck. And if he could afford them, a good set of suspenders.
I guess everybody has their own kind of style. I, for one, was a little disappointed in this fashion taking over the good image of hobos everywhere. I mean no self-respecting hobo would waste money on camo pajamas, let alone be caught dead panhandling in them. There are lines that will not be crossed. With that said, and as self-appointed hobo sage at the Mooseknuckler Cycling/Climbing/Hobo/Backpacking/whateverlukasisinto Alliance, I took it upon myself to come up with a Fall Fashion Guide for hobos.
First and foremost, every hobo worth his salt will always have his cup with him. Think about it. When have you seen a hobo that didn’t have a cup either in his hand, attached to his pack or about to be led to his lips for sustenance? A hobo’s cup should have the capability of being attached to one’s waist or pack, you know for easy transport. It also must be metal. No plastic can hold up to the rigors of a good road trip. Just ask anyone who owns a plastic backpacking spork.
Not only do cups rattle so everyone knows when you are coming, they are handy as shit. A good cup is a tool. It can be used to drink from and having one attached to your person guarantees you will never miss the chance of a shared drink for lack of a receptacle. Being that it is designed to hold things, it works great for eating out of as well. Especially if you are eating warm soup on a cold day. Of course, it also is the best way to collect donations when you happen to have miscalculated how long you would be on the road or how much it was going to cost.
I’m usually not much of a hat person. Yea, I know I’m bald but I don’t care and see no reason to cover up my baldness. If you don’t like it, don’t look. However, I was recently offered the above hat at a great price. Granted, as KB pointed out, it hasn’t been ran over by a truck and is way too nice for me to wear. I’m not great at pulling off the “classy” style. But the ironic hat to top off my hobostyle, for that it’s perfect.
No hobo “look” is complete without some facial hair. Preferably a serious beard, but in warmer climes and when you just get sick of having fleas on your face, the mustache is a great alternative. It still traps that extra food for later, makes everyone question your presence and makes most people uncomfortable.
Speaking of mustaches, it is September and that means there is a competition going on somewhere. If I could only remember where, I would post it here so you could all join in.
Just as I was thinking how awesome beards are and that I can’t wait till October 1st so I can get mine growing again. KB’s sister dropped this in my inbox.
With the attached link.
Not necessarily hobostyle, but definitely high fashion and you didn’t even have to leave your house. Let alone go to Paris.
You’re welcome.
P. L. and R.