- 2 out 3 for the Alliance. I guess the most important thing is to show up…
I successfully lost every single race in the recent SGCX cyclocross race series. I came in Dead Fucking Last every time. And yet somehow managed to come in 3rd for the series. Sometimes Math is your friend. Seeing that I was one of three people who participated in at least two races, I ended up on the podium in a race series that I had effectively lost.
I’m not sure what DNA sequence I am missing or if it is just due to the fact that I was raised in a household that didn’t have an excess of male testosterone, but I’m not competitive. I never have been and doubt I ever will be.
Fact of the matter is I just don’t care enough to try. The only thing I’m really good at is being mediocre because I can slide by and get the minimum done without ever braking a sweat. I graduated from high school, got an Associate’s and Bachelor’s degree without doing much of any thing other than showing up. Sure, I did some homework for that last degree but it wasn’t much.
And I always graduated with at least a B average.
Saw a civilization where grabbing onto wealth
Was the only guarantee of freedom peace and health
Dollar sign value system upheld as the truth
And if you can’t find a place its gonna find you
Saw the paranoid response to all of the examples Of the ones that don’t fit in this way of living getting trampled Success is obedience to a structured way of life You can’t ignore the structure because were all within its sight
I guess I just never wanted to fit in and the easiest way to do that is not to care about whether or not what you are doing is considered a success. My personal mantra is that if I’m ever considered a success, I’ve obviously done something wrong.
As I’m sure you all know, this past weekend the biggest sporting event of the century took place in Louisville. I’m not one to watch sports but I thought I would give it a chance. Strangely enough, I quite enjoyed watching the races. Especially when Katie F…ing Compton came from behind to take 2nd in the Woman’s Elite race.
Needless to say, all the watching people exercise got me hot and bothered and I headed out to my CX race ready to give it a try. I figured that I should at least “race” one of the three.
I got my bike ready, adjusting my brake levers so I could actually use them and letting a whole bunch of air out of my tires. I fueled up with a burrito from Pepper’s and then headed out to the race. For the first time ever, I pre-rode the course. I was warm and ready to rock out some laps.
And I raced. Out of the gate till the last lap except for the few minutes I had to stop and add some air to my tires. Apparently, I need to refresh my sealant. And I still came in last.
That’ll teach ’em.
P. L. and R.
Editor’s note: Yes I realize that the block quote is all screwed up. The more I try to fix it the more it sucks. And I just don’t care…