The Lazy B, where the moment you jump into the pool, the hostess runs out with a couple of clean towels for you when you get out. She also is very quick to approach if you lean your bike up somewhere that it’s not supposed to be. Ah yes, the Lazy B.
Afton, Wyoming is home to the world’s largest elk horn arch way. Next to this arch way sits the Elk Horn Cafe, the Elk Horn Bank, the Elk Horn Shoe Store, the Elk Horn Saloon… For a town with such a high tourist draw, we thought there would be something yummy to eat. We found the Elk Horn Cafe was closed, the saloon only served booze but a small mexican place was open. Burritos, chips and salsa? Yes, I think that will work.
The joint was hopping. Hopping with a couple of little kids. It quickly became apparent that the server was also the cook who was also the cashier who also was the bell boy. Needless to say, the food was pretty good but the service was a little slow.
I decided to stop at the Maverick on the way home to grab some “supplies.” Their beer cave was ginormous and there was also liquor. I figured I might as well restock the Tequila wagon while I was at it. I chose my goods and then walked out and to the end of the line to wait for the cashier. She quickly began yelling at me to get back in the cage. I was a little startled but did as I was told. Apparently when in Wyoming, at a Maverick/Liquor Store you have to buy the liquor before you leave the beer cave. I personally had never heard of this rule before and the help of sign may have made things easier for me. I guess I learned.
Back at the Lazy B, we quickly fell into zombie mode. Teladaga Nights was on and then we fell asleep.
The next morning we awoke with Christmas morn like excitement. Why? You might ask. Were we super stoked to ride our bikes? No. Were we ready to get this trip over with? Nope. We were excited to eat at the Elk Horn Cafe, which we all hoped would be open on a Monday morning. We hobbled down the street and found the door unlocked and a friendly face waiting to greet us. She ushered us into a booth and took our orders. As with most greasy spoons, the morning is littered with regulars. People who order the same thing every day and then sit and shoot the shit with the rest of the regulars. The Elk Horn did not dissapoint. The regulars were there and they were shooting the shit. Our server had sat us close enough that we quickly learned the ins and out of the valley. And yes they did in fact breach the subject of WD-40 as well as cows being where they weren’t supposed to be.
After our “perfect” greasy spoon experience, we found ourselves back at the Lazy B with but one task left undone, a task that is best left unsaid. After ticking it off our list, we packed up and headed out.
We were on the road again. I had mixed feelings as I knew our journey was soon to end but was also eager to get to Jackson so I could start the lengthy trip back to warmer climes. Our jaunt through the Star River Valley came to a quick end as we made good time pedaling through the basically flat section of road. After a mere two hours, we had made it to Alpine Junction.
Alpine Junction is an important stop on the Slotoja tour. It’s the place where you can finally say, we are almost done and is the last real stop before Jackson.
Surprisingly enough, the Elk Horn Cafe breakfast had been burned out of my stomach and I felt like lunch. We honkered over to a roadside cafe called the Yankee Doodle’s. The Yankee Doodle’s interior designer must have been Uncle Sam himself as the place looked like the Fourth of July had puked everywhere. We were escorted to a booth in the back corner and allowed to wait for lunch to hit, as they were serving breakfast late because of the holiday. We were OK with this as we felt we had made good time and weren’t in much of a hurry to finish our journey.
We were able to spot the owner thanks to his sleeveless-homemade t-shirt and double American flat tattoos.
Editor’s note: I love these small cafes, there is something just innately redneck about me. So they feel like home up until the point that I feel like they are so patriotic that they have lost the feeling of acceptance and the circle a tattoo on my leg outs me as someone who doesn’t belong. This contradicting sentiment of coming home and not being home, is why I love these cafes.
I didn’t get any pictures of this joint but if you can imagine all the below images being pasted to every inch of wall, you can get the idea.
The best part about this cafe was the fact that their sandwiches came with Freedom Fries. Yup, no French Fries on that menu. It may have been my uneasiness within this patriotic cave or something in the food, but the Freedom Fries did not sit well with me and I have forever banned them from my diet.
The road from Alpine leads into the Snake River Gorge which is by far the most scenic section of our ride. It is also the most dangerous as was proved a week later in fastoja.
The Snake River Gorge is a fun ride as it rolls up and down as you follow the river toward Jackson.
Up to this point, we had experienced almost perfect weather, but as we neared the Hole the wind hit us. And it sucked. It blew for about 20 minutes and then we were there.
It took us another 15 minutes to find the Snake River Brewery where Jerry had parked the truck. And then we were done.
