I had one of those moments the other day that only can be described as an epiphany, or at least an “aha!”
I realized that swordfish was upon me and things seemed wierd.
I had ended up at the doctor’s office a couple of weeks ago. As is their custom, they weighed me as part of the check up. I came in 15 pounds heavier than I’ve ever known myself to weigh. Now, I realize I’ve had a bit of a beer belly for the past couple of years, but I had not noticed the love handles and how large that gut had really gotten….
2009 was a good year for me. The move south, the marriage, the house, I had some serious advancements in life, but I had noticed that finances hadn’t changed much for me. This is in stark contrast to having made more money this past year than I had in any previous year of my life.
These two things got me athinkin’. It got me thinking about this little peice I wrote a few years back, “The Nail that Sticks Up.”
Now there are two things that have really changed in my life this past year to which I can contribute these two problems. First up, I got married, again. Now I know that I argued, quite successfully, for the past few years on the stupidity of a contractual agreement that says, “I love you.” Well, I still feel that way, but there were other factors that contributed to the decision to take the plunge again and I stand by my decision, quite happily. The second thing, I’ve driven my car more than I can ever remember doing in the past ten years.
In the past few months, I can probably count on one hand the times I’ve ridden to work. I disgust myself. I promise you.
But this little epiphany I had was realizing I had eliminated the anarchy of the bicycle from my motivations for riding. I kept trying to get myself to ride for different reasons: I need to get in shape, I need to save money, I need to lose this awful gut, I need… In the past, I never needed a reason to ride. It was just there because I refused to be a person who drove around, got fat and participated in the oil industry along with all the other fucked up facets of the American Dream.
Well, here I am living it.
Once I realized this awful thing about myself, that I was living the American Dream, I stepped back and realized that I either had to do something about this or give up in disgust. I’m not much for giving up in disgust, even now with my apathy level through the roof. So, I’m going back to my roots. It’s time to eliminate the evil I have been reveling in for the past six months or so. It’s time to get back to having my blood boiling with idealism when I get up in the morning. It’s time to get through life under my own power. It’s time to re-declare my sovereignty.
There you have it. I will not give up in disgust. I’m gonna get off my fat ass and get through life under my own power and I promise to bring back the Alliance that I miss…
Peace. Love. Declaring your sovereignty is the Revolution.