Mooseknuckler Cycling Alliance

Cars suck. Yet, we are still a society of car lovers. Why do so many people love and hopelessly cling to this inefficient form of transportation? From behavioral studies conducted through observation by yours truly the following are the most common reasons.

Cars are big. They allow the less endowed segment of society a way to show their manliness and/or rank. People who love their cars for said reason are easy to identify. They drive big ass trucks that cost a fortune. Four-wheel drive is mandatory but so are low profile tires that make the four-wheel drive useless. The bigger and less utilitarian their automobile is the higher their social status and the smaller their package.

Cars go fast. This reason is demonstrated by a certain type of driver. They are those who have no where to go but have to get there within the next two seconds or their world will come to an end, literally. I’m not sure how these people get anything done. They are always in such a hurry to get somewhere that once they arrive, they hurry to get back to wherever the hell they came from.

Cars carry stuff. Now, we all know that a BOB trailer can carry a lot of shit, trust me I’ve tested its limits, but a car can carry more. This is one of the few times I see the necessity of an automobile, but this reason loses its merit when the only thing being carried is a 50 pound gut, which could be eliminated if a car wasn’t used to transport it.

Cars keep the bugs out of your teeth. Ah, something we can all stand behind, but who doesn’t love a few bugs in the morning. You can hardly consider eating bugs unethical if they ran into your face. I say splatted bug protein is the other white meat.

Cars are efficient. A reason with teeth but there is a problem here. They are not efficient. In terms of known forms of transportation, cars are one of the least efficient. If you consider how much a car weighs, a couple thousand pounds, and compare that to what it carries, usually one person around 200 pounds, how is that efficient? To think you need something multiple times bigger than you are to carry your sorry ass lacks logic.

Cars suck. After studying these five most common reasons to drive, I still can’t understand our desperate association with automobiles. They will be the death of us all. At least when things get bad those with cars can park in their garage and close the door. It will make the end easier.

Ryan and I headed up to ride the White Pine Lake to Bunch Grass trail, the trail I-dog just about killed himself on. This was the first time I had gone up there since the accident. You may also recall that this is a shuttled ride, but Ian and I tried to do it as a loop the first time we rode it. Ryan and I thought it would be a good idea to try the loop again, seeing it is ridiculous to drive two cars that far for two people to ride a trail, we decided to try and ride it.

The forecast has had torrential downpour in it for the last few days. Today the clouds were looming, dark and heavy. We both planned for rain, but hoped it would be light and not last long. We parked at the bottom of the seven mile paved road climb, put on a long sleeve jersey and started the grind. We made really good time, but once we hit the steeper section we stopped for a brake. Ryan took off his jacket and we rested for a minute before continuing. Our resting place was just before a bend in the road. Once we turned the corner the wind hit us and it started to drizzle, not a problem. The wind was cold and we stopped again so Ryan could put his jacket back on. It continued to rain, and rain, and rain, and…

We got cold. As we got closer and closer to the top the clouds got heavier and the wind got colder. Ryan asked about how the trail was going to look seeing the amount of rain that was coming down. I remained hopeful. We discussed turning around. I wanted to ride this trail, badly, but it only took another minute at the most for me to change my mind. Then things got really bad.

I put my rain jacket on and we began the descent back to the car. We hadn’t gotten too cold on the way up because we were working, but as soon as we headed down we both froze. My face stung from the rain and wind hitting it. My hands and shins (I was wearing knickers) went numb about half way down and then my toes began to hurt. I swear it took us longer to get down than it did to go up. The rain just kept coming down.

When the Alliance first started a few years ago, I wrote an article for Cycling Utah to inform the community about us and to explain what we were about. I defined a Mooseknuckler as someone who rides their bike and enjoys it regardless of the situation. This includes riding in torrential downpour, hurricane force winds and anything else nature chooses to throw at us. Today that definition held true.

It wasn’t quite the ride I had hoped for but I am glad that we actually got out and rode something. I am also excited to get back down to SG and ride my favorite trails, ones that can challenge me in ways that don’t make me want to throw up.

Peace.

Wow, school has made scheduling an Alliance ride almost impossible, but I do have a report for y’all today. Last night, we northern Mooseknucklers were out in force. Ryan, Kevin, Anson and myself rode Green Canyon. With the sunset coming so early now, it makes it difficult for me to ride after work. Ryan and Kevin rode from their front doors. I, on the other hand, picked up Anson and drove our sorry asses to the trail head. We made it at about the same time. From the trailhead up, it was one quick sprint. I think that is the fastest I have ever climbed that bloody trail. And no, I didn’t have the energy to conquer the rock.

Well, in other semi related news, I will be in SG next weekend after beating my head against the wall at Interbike for a couple of days. I guess getting an entire weekend to ride is my reward for having to spend two days in Las Vegas. Ah, life is good.

Peace. Love. and Revolution.

KC set the alarm for 7 so we could be up, have breakfast and be on the road by 8. It was freezing. I haven’t checked but I’m guessing the weather was close to 32 degrees. We could see our breath and the thought of riding in the cold was not appealing to either of us. After seeing the weather, we decided to wait a bit before heading out to allow the sun to warm the valley a bit more. I jumped in the shower and KC climbed back into bed.

We left the hotel around 8:30, possibly closer to 9. It was still plenty cold. We both wore all the cold weather gear we had and still felt chilly. Luckily the wind from the day before had died down over night and had not started blowing again. We made great time. After about ten miles we stopped in Etna for a morning snack. A coke and a bag of Funyons tided me over till Alpine.

We continued to make great progress all the way into Alpine where we stopped at a gas station and bought supplies to make it through the canyon and into Hoback Junction. The road now paralleled the Snake River providing us with an astonishing view. The road climbed but was not steep. KC had begun to have knee problems in the morning due to the cold weather and the climbing up the canyon was not helping. About half way to Hoback a trucked passed us and stopped. Tommy Murphy climbed out and got us to stop. Of course we were not opposed to taking a break. He detailed his ride and gave us a good ten minute break. Then we continued.

By the time we made it to Hoback, we were both ready to not ride anymore. Lunch came by way of a small grocery store. We bought whatever we sounded good, sat in the sun and gobbled up our sustenance. Jackson was now within striking distance.

The ride from Hoback to Jackson went by quickly. There were a couple of slight inclines and then almost suddenly we were there. It´s an interesting feeling when you arrive at a destination that took so long and so much effort to get to. I felt relieved and disappointed that the trip was over.

One thing is for sure, traveling by automobile deprives the traveler of the journey.

It’s been a long time since I have felt this way, pretty much I can’t remember the last time. I’ve felt like shit on many occasion but it is usually not because I feel like a bad person, this time it is. As an anarchist, the one law that cannot be justified away is the golden one, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Which can be simplified even more as don’t hurt anyone else. I feel like I have. Someone I don’t even know but I know exactly what they are going to be going through in the next couple of days, pure hell. I logically know I am not to blame but I can’t get it out of my head and it won’t go away. It’s there every second and it seems to be getting worst. So to those involved, you know who you are, I publicly apologize. Please forgive me.

The dawn was cold; the moisture of the previous night had accumulated on our bags and everything else we had left out in our surroundings. This meant that my riding shorts and jersey were soaking wet and freezing cold. Lucky for me KC slept a bit longer than I did and allowed me to warm them up a bit in the bottom of my bag. We had decided not to carry a stove or cooking utensils on this trip so our breakfast consisted of left over fig Newtons and granola bars.

One thing that it seems I must learn on each tour is to not stop for the night without making it to the top of the hill. In the morning, I was sore and not in the mood to ride my bike. My butt was sore and my legs were cold, both physically and in there wanting to ride. To top off our bad camping place, we had thought we were close to the top of the summit but in actuality had another 5 miles. Just up from our camp was a false summit that once we peaked we dropped for a bit and then continued upward to get to finally finish the first and hardest climb on the Lotoja course.

We had woken up to cloudy skies. A few drops even fail before we crawled out of our bags. This meant that once we reached the top of our climb we had a very chilly descent. We both dawned the little bit of warm clothing we had brought and headed down. It was nice to move without pedaling but damn it was cold. At the bottom of the descent there was a quick, fairly steep uphill that just about broke my knees, they had frozen completely during the ride down.

I only saw KC for the first couple of turns during the descent and then not for quite awhile. Seeing that I was pedaling with but one gear, I climbed faster but got dropped quickly on the descents and flats. After our climb we had rolling terrain into Montpelier. We passed dozens of barns and even a cattle drive.

We ate at a small diner in Montpelier around 10:30, just in time for breakfast. The omelet and hot chocolate hit the spot. KC downed plenty of coffee for the both of us. We saw a couple of racers returning from Jackson and chatted a bit with them. They were quite impressed by my insanity of touring on a monogeared bike, at this point I was agreeing with them.

From Montpelier we began immediately to head upwards towards the Geneva summit. This climb wasn’t near as long or difficult as our first. We climbed for a couple of miles and then summitted before either of us really thought it was possible it could be done. This was a beautiful area of sage brush as we entered Wyoming and then began our last significant climb, Salt River Pass. This last pass just about killed us both. We ended up walking the last mile or so, due to the steep grade being saved till the very end. This is the King of the Mountain climb for the racers. The view from the top more than paid us back for the hard work we had suffered through to get there, I’ll post some pics.

The Salt River Pass dropped us down into the endless doldrums of the Star Valley, quite possibly the longest valley in existence and the windiest. We had originally planned to make it to Alpine Junction or at least Etna this day but the wind beat that idea right out of us. The wind was cold, and from the front. Apparently, it isn’t possible to draft another rider pulling a BOB. I’ve always thought Jeff Keller to be completely insane for wanting aero bars on his touring bike, now I just think he is insane for other reasons. We battled all the way to Afton, about 10 miles short of our shortest goal. We were both exhausted and in dire need of sustenance, you know, food.

We parked our bikes outside the first diner we found and headed in, they weren’t very busy and the waitress was interested in what we were doing.  Unfortunately this place had absolutely nothing vegetarian. I confess I ate fish, dammit, I ate fish. To be honest I think I needed the protein in light of not finding any nuts at the gas stations or having any soy for two days. I’m sorry fishy but you did taste good.

After sitting for about two seconds, I was convinced that we did not need to continue that night. It took me another few minutes to convince KC, but logic did prevail. We found a hotel a couple of doors down and crashed. The hot shower and real bed felt great. After the showers and a bit of resting we went out to see what kind of night life existed in Afton, Wyoming. Apparently not a lot, we found a bar that was open and played a few games of pool, it’s been a while. Gurr you better have the felt combed for the weekend after Interbike cause we are playing.

Lotoja Classic Story

If any of you care, mom, this is the first of what I hope to be many stories published at this site. I have already done two spanish translations as well, but I really don’t think anyone cares about that.

Happy riding.

Sorry, my children, I have been busy writing for other places and other things.

You know what the great thing about bicyle touring is?

You can stop bicycle touring.

As anyone who has toured knows, there are many times during any given tour day that I felt like it was the dumbest thing I had ever done, but even better are the many times that I wouldn´t trade it for anything.

We left around 10:30 a.m. on Saturday. Once we had both KC’s and my gear in BOB we realized that we were going to need two, not so much for the weight but for the bulk. KC’s BOB was in Clifton, Idaho. So we rode from Logan to Clifton. When we discussed this option I understood that Clifton was about 10 miles from Logan. Apparently, I had misunderstood. Clifton is 45 miles from Logan. Not a big deal except I had left hungry and was expecting to eat lunch when we got there. After about an hour and a half of riding, we stopped for a snack, between the two of us we had three granola bars. Not exactly enough sustenance to keep me pedaling. We found a small Mom and Pops gas station and filled our guts with Mtn. Dew and Funyons. We arrived at KC’s grandmother’s house around 2:30 p.m.

KC fiddle around, cutting his BOB loose and chatting with the neighbor across the street while a took a much needed nap in a wonderfully comfortable recliner. We ate some apples and snagged a couple rolls of TP. After an hour we headed towards Preston to pick up the Lotoja course. Riding to Clifton was easy, the terrain was flat, rolling at its worst, but Clifton to Preston dropped us down into the ravine of the river where we had our first taste of a climb on the tour. We stopped at a grocery store in Preston and had some kick ass deli food, yes lots of vitamin g.

The Lotoja course is flat to Preston, but then it turns and climbs for 22 miles up and over Strawberry Pass which sits at 7,424 ft. After 17 miles of climbing we threw in the towel and camped at Strawberry Spring. This is a canyon. The only flat spot in the vecinity was next to an almost non existent watering hole. We threw down the sleeping bags and watched as the stars began to break through the twilight. Once it was almost completely dark, we heard footsteps and a hunter broke into our little flat. We had camped on the water hole he was watching, guess we saved some poor animals, eh? He was pretty typical, trying to warn us about all the bad animals out there that were going to come eat us during the night. He carried on for almost a half hour about wolves and mountain lions like he had been attacked almost every time he was in the wild and in the wild we were not. Our camping spot was only 150 yards off the side of the highway. He finally left.

We passed out. The stars became part of our dreams and the cold began to creap into the air. I was sound asleep when I heard KC scream and then the galloping of hooves. It seems that a horse, or as we called it, mystery beast had wondered into our camp. KC had heard its footsteps and thought it was going to step on him, yelling to scare it away. We could hear it winny for the next little while, and then sleep came again.