March 2007
Monthly Archive
Thu 8 Mar 2007
I give up, surrender, raise the white flag. I’m basically sick of this. Regardless of what I do, There are a million other idiots countering and diminishing its effects. I just don’t think I can handle it anymore. I’m going to sell all my bikes, get a real job and a house. You know live the American Dream I’ve heard so much about. Sounds like a real winner, if you know what I mean. Yeah, I think that’s what I’ll do.
Of course, I’m being facetious. I’m almost 26 and haven’t sold out yet. I might as well make a career out of it. Now if I could only find someone to finance all of the things I like to do so I could stop working. Arizona Lottery? I hear you on that one. I think my Karma is good enough to win. Anybody have money they can loan me? I’ll pay you back as soon as I win.
Hoorah!
Wed 7 Mar 2007
War is armed conflict between two opposing forces. Terrorism is the act of inflicting fear through violent acts as a means to an end, or in other words it is a form of warfare. The “War on Terror” is a declared conflict between the U.S. and terror. Who, where and what does this involve? I’m no historian, but I understand that Northern Ireland has seen its share of terrorism. The Basque country in Spain has been under constant terrorist attack for years. Even within our own borders terrorists roam free. Florida is home to terrorists who have reaked havoc in Cuba for decades, but walk around as free citizens here.
No, my comrades, this war has nothing to do with terror or erradicating it. As all wars that have gone before, it is a battle between who controls what and how. Economic power struggles that are masqueraded as ideological battles for the common good. I’m calling bull shit.
First, as I mentioned, terrorism is a means to an end, not an idea. It is no different than trench warfare, nuclear, or state-sponsored warfare. Suicide bombers are not killing themselves because they want others to be scared, they do it to prove a point. By blowing themselves up, they hope to bring recognition, vindication or validation of an idea. It seems that if we hoped to avoid more terror, we would fight this style of warfare in the way we have the others through diplomatic treaties and ceasefires. For some reason we are told that we must fight terror with terror. The only way to win this way is to beat the other side into submission through fear. I don’t think that is going to happen.
Second, this war really has nothing to do with terrorism and a lot to do with economic power. The Middle East is sitting on “our” money. Throughout history, we have been able to overcome similar economic obstacles by oppressing, baptizing, or liberating. This time that won’t work. The Arab states do not desire to have our way of life, we can not liberate them for they are free. They will not be baptized, they already have their god. And, so far, we’ve done a decent job of oppressing them. The only problem is they found a way that they can fight back and make us listen. It is a means to an end.
The government has successfully turned this into a semantic parade of money grabbers. If they were truly fighting terror, they wouldn’t be so concentrated on wealthy Islamic countries. If this was about the common good and furthering our society, they would have had a known, public objective. If this was about god, we would be preaching and not bombing. As all wars that have gone before, this is all about our number one priority, money.
Peace. Love. and Revolution.
Tue 6 Mar 2007
It’s times like these that always have me asking the “what if” questions. Second guessing is a past time of mine, I guess. Actually, I learned years ago that these questions were absolutely pointless because there is no way of knowing or changing what has been. So who cares, right? Not so easy, I still wonder about all the options and how something felt so right in that time frame but now seems completely ridiculous. Hind sight sucks. We should be able to just look forward remembering only what we need to learn and then be able to move on.
Yeah, I know I just wrote my answer to the why, but it doesn’t help anything.
In my interactions with people, countless times I have tried to offer up the helping hand. I usually find myself saying, “Once you finally reach the bottom and you have nowhere else to go, that is when you finally learn what hope is.” I thought I already knew. I guess I just need to re-learn everything I “learned” in the last 15 years. I’m just not sure I’m ready to do that yet.
Not knowing is the worst feeling. The doubt and fear that is absorbed when one has no clear idea of what lies on the other side of the abyss they are about to jump across has engulfed me. I’m left standing alone, holding the bag.
Anyways…
Peace.
Sat 3 Mar 2007
I was just directed to a bicycle touring website. Nostalgia set in and I dug up the final post from my trip. It also reminded me of a due date that has past, but that is a different story. After a few months time, I still feel like a made the right decision. And as I wrote before, the idea and places still pull at my imagination. I can’t help but wondering what would have happened had I continued down that highway or even taken the bus the opposite direction. Hopefully I would have made it to Chile by now and be attending school down there. More personally I wonder about what would have happened to my wife and me. I sincerely feel like the right thing has happened.
For those of you who missed my short lived trip (by about 7,000 miles), I include the end below. All of the posts from the trip and for a few months after can be seen here.
Shooting for the stars
I believe it was Jeff Keller, my boss at Sunrise, that last used this analogy when setting goals. He said if you shoot for the stars and hit the top of the trees, it is better than shooting for the top of the trees and hitting the ground.
I began this journey with the hopes of seeing part of the world that had drawn my imagination for a very long time. And still does. So what happened? It slowly snuck up on me.
I once wrote that it takes a strong mind to be alone, and to be able to enjoy the silence of solitude. Nothing could be more true. What I didn’t understand at that time was the reason behind it. When we are alone, there is no one to hide from. Having the pressures of society removed from the equation can be liberating. At the same time, removing the masks we use for other people often forces us to see ourselves the way we really are instead of focusing on what we want others to see. When I first wrote about being alone, I enjoyed it. This time around, removing the masks brought my personal demons to the forefront of a mind that was taxed with an eight thousand mile journey.
I entered Mexico the 21st of October. Bryce and Cimarron drove me over the border and dropped me off on the road to Saric. According to my map, this road was paved. Well, we weren’t on the right road and it definitely wasn’t paved. After riding from Tucson, getting a Visa and having trouble finding the road it was almost dark when I finally started riding in Latin America. The road was steep and rocky. I couldn’t actually ride so I spent the next half hour of daylight pushing my bike. The mountain was so steep I coulnd’t find anywhere to camp. I walked for about an hour before I just dumped everything in the only flat spot I could find. It was beautiful.
Next day, I awoke early with the first rays of sunlight. I ate a few noodle I had left over from the night before and packed everything up. I was still climbing so I continued to push my bike. The first hour or so was going up and pushing. Once I reached the top I had to go back down. This road was so steep and rocky I was forced to ride the brakes the entire time and descend very slowly. The first hour of riding only equaled about two miles of forward progress. Now that I had gotten over the Sierra de Cibuta I had a fairly flat ride on a dirt road to Saric. this area is set aside as a safe refuge for white tailed deer, I didn’t see any. After riding farther than the map said the town was, I finally flagged down a guy in a truck to find out where I was. He said I was close and gave me a ride into town. He gave me good directions and water and I headed out again. Next town, Tubutama. Time 10:30 a.m. and all I had eaten was the little bit of pasta and a granola bar. I rode from Saric to Tubutama in about two and a half hours. I still couldn’t eat.
Tubutama is a small town but the biggest I had seen since leaving Nogales. I bought a soda and some chips at the mini supermercado. I drank the soda but the chips weren’t going in. I still have them in my bag. I sat in the parking lot of the store for a few minutes because it was shady and realized I really didn’t feel well. I thought that’s ok I am here and will just find a place to stay for the night and continue in the morning. The kid at the store told me where I could find out if there were any rooms available. To my utter dismay, the lady was rude and told me there wasn’t anything available. Forced to continue I headed out of town. I made it to the first spot of shade and dumped my bike and layed in the dirt for about a half hour. I tried to eat some more chips. After about thirty minutes, I mustered the strength to continue.
I spent the next two hours looking for a place I could camp that was in the shade and out of sight. I realized I was over heating and regardless of how much water I drank I still was too hot. I find a decent spot in a drainage culvert that allowed me to set up my tent and be completely out of view. After pitching my tent, I layed out my sleeping pad and crawled in. I just lay there sweating for the next two hours. Those two hours gave product to the beginning of the 2nd hardest decision I have ever made.
Once the sun went down, I made some rice and got ready for the night. I was able to eat very little rice. I would eat a few bights, fall asleep, awake, eat, sleep, repeat. This worked until about 10 p.m. and I was able to eat about a third of the rice I had made. My body had finally cooled down, but I was feeling very week and parched. I woke up the next morning around 5. I opened my eyes and thought I don’t feel sick, then I sat up. I felt very dizzy. I layed back down and rest for another hour. I forced myself to get up, eat the rest of the rice and pack up camp. I stood up outside of the tent and realized my entire body was shaking, not from cold it was about 80 degrees. I then rode began to slowly very slowly ride to Magdalena. About a half hour out the clouds finally covered the sun and the wind started to blow. It was obvious a rain storm was moving in. By the time I made it the temperature had dropped and the wind was gusting. I found a hotel and crashed. I didn’t move for probably an hour. After riding only a couple hours I was done.
I struggled with the idea of giving up on a dream. I struggled with what I would do if I didn’t finish the geographical part of the trip. I struggled that entire day.
Now, I am home. I feel good about what I did and also what I didn’t do. This trip was about a lot of things. I didn’t make it to Chile, but I made it to the place I needed to be.
Thanks everyone.
Thu 1 Mar 2007
Posted by Knuckler under
Life in General1 Comment
This was S.G. this morning. Not something we see very often and definitely not frecuently in February.
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