It’s times like these that always have me asking the “what if” questions. Second guessing is a past time of mine, I guess. Actually, I learned years ago that these questions were absolutely pointless because there is no way of knowing or changing what has been. So who cares, right? Not so easy, I still wonder about all the options and how something felt so right in that time frame but now seems completely ridiculous. Hind sight sucks. We should be able to just look forward remembering only what we need to learn and then be able to move on.

Yeah, I know I just wrote my answer to the why, but it doesn’t help anything.

In my interactions with people, countless times I have tried to offer up the helping hand. I usually find myself saying, “Once you finally reach the bottom and you have nowhere else to go, that is when you finally learn what hope is.” I thought I already knew. I guess I just need to re-learn everything I “learned” in the last 15 years. I’m just not sure I’m ready to do that yet.

Not knowing is the worst feeling. The doubt and fear that is absorbed when one has no clear idea of what lies on the other side of the abyss they are about to jump across has engulfed me. I’m left standing alone, holding the bag.

Anyways…

Peace.