Mooseknuckler News

WP_20140814_08_09_19_RawLook, it’s not my fault you’ve been living under a rock. I have done everything in my power to make sure that everyone knows about the up and coming event that is sure to knock the socks off of everyone who attends and quite possible everyone who just happens to pass by while this thing is going down. I posted on my blog, I created a Facebook event and I even went as far as creating some flyers. And those flyers have been distributed far and wide. I put one up at Red Rock and I gave a bunch to Spencer. If that isn’t enough, well, I just don’t know what else to do. Short of knocking on everyone’s door and personally informing them, I think I have done my job.

But for those of you still not in the “know” about this whole thing, the Alliance will be hosting a get together of epic proportions. Why? because that’s what we do and we want to have fun. You will need a Townie/commuter bike or just one that has two wheels cuz we don’t discriminate and stuff. And then we are going to get together and see how fast we can ride said two-wheeled love machines.

Meet at Sullivan Soccer  Park off of Washington Fields Drive at 8:30 PM. We will divide into Townie and Wannabe Commuter categories. There will be prizes for the winners. Unfortunately, someone stole the cash purse so there won’t be any actual money prizes. Sorry.

Another example of a Townie.
Another example of a Townie.

In other news that probably should just be ignored because it is in no way “news worthy,” the Church of the Holy Alliance of Mooseknucklers did hold services this Sunday. The Holy Lobster in the Sky moved us to rise early and worship. We found ourselves pedaling as the sun came up over the horizon. We rode in memory of a trail that used to be. We spun up the wash to the cow pond, continued up the wash. Hit the dirt road and climbed to the singletrack cut off, rode that. Then up the road some more to the next section of singletrack that drops just for a second until you turn right and go up the “Downhill.” Once at the top of said singletrack we climbed just a little more and then bombed down some serious rocky trail. And then we climbed back up to the top of the mesa again, where I took this picture.

I might be fat, but I'm not that out of shape.
I might be fat, but I’m not that out of shape.

And then we turned the knobbies toward the valley and dropped back down. This is, if you couldn’t tell from my exquisite description, the Barrel Ride. I was surprised to find a few of the original lines have become almost unused and instead plenty of easier lines have been added and ridden in to the point that they look like the only way. Don’t worry I took Giggles and we made wide girth across the correct lines to ensure that they don’t disappear forever.

In real news, Ferguson.

If you haven’t been paying attention, shame on you. If the population in general had, there would be a lot less of WTF and a whole lot more of Duh. This isn’t new. It’s just the latest swelling up of a conflict that has never been resolved. John Oliver, in his usual manner, explains it all better than I could, so just watch the video.


Moving on to real news that shouldn’t be, the latest in the Facebook scares has come and pretty much gone at this point. The controversy stemmed from what some were calling the overstepping of Facebook with its permissions that it demanded for using their Messenger app on your phone. Also, that it no longer allowed you to message people from within their normal app but forced you to download the second one (and by forced, I mean it would send you to the app store and tell you that to use their messenger service on your phone, you would have to use a different app).

Here’s the article for your reading pleasure. Granted the way that it is presented does sound disturbing, unless you’ve ever read the permissions that you grant every time you download an app. The reason I bring this up and find it hilarious is the little bar on the right side of your Facebook screen. Have you ever looked at it? I mean really looked at it. It is essentially a tracking bar for everyone you know on Facebook. KB was on 2 minutes ago via mobile. Pratt 2 hours ago on the web… If you haven’t realized that they are tracking you by this point, then there’s nothing to worry about. Just move on.

Or if you are worried about it, you could just log out. My personal favorite is to change my current home and watch the ads switch to different languages and for things that are thousands of miles away. It’s good to fuck with corporations like that.

Now that you have read everything worthy of printing, I have a lot of doors to knock on.

Help Wanted: Passionate cyclist who is willing to ride/walk through the streets of Washington County for the next four days and inform the population about the impending event of the century, the Townie Time Trial. Apply in person at the Mooseknuckler Cycling Alliance Social Lounge.

P. L. and R.


This entry was posted in Alliance Rides, Master of the Obvious, The Church of the Holy Alliance of Mooseknucklers, Two-wheeled love machines. Bookmark the permalink.

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