I went all the way to Eurobike and all I brought you back was this lousy post

 

Once again, the bike has been completely revolutionized.

Once again, the bike has been completely revolutionized.

Unless you’re living under the biggest rock in the known world’s history, you know that the bicycle industry has been throwing themselves a big party on the other side of that big thing of water that separates us from them. They are throwing this party, of course, because they have been successful in completely revolutionizing the bicycle.

I can say this with all confidence because I didn’t see one, nope count ’em, not one bone shaker.

 

The design that was revolutionized.

The design that was revolutionized.

Now that thing is definitely not vertically compliant or laterally stiff. Aero? Forget it.  It does however, sport the newest and greatest suspension design and direct brake system. Not to mention the integrated front fender, that did not increase the weight of the bike at all. Of course, for today’s kids the color is a bit drab, you know with the 80s coming back and all.

Luckily, I managed to swing by KNCN. They have completely revolutionized the ability to make everything in whatever color you might actually want.

This picture was totally stolen from Bike Rumor

This picture was totally stolen from Bike Rumor

Throw those doodads on the old bone shaker and you’ve got yourself the best of the vintage look of the 80s combined with the technologically advanced properties of shaker. Of course, it is best to stick with the direct drive braking system the shaker comes stock with as those rotors don’t look like they can hold much weight. Better safe than sorry.

There were plenty of “bicycles” to see with their fancy new shmattering of said disc rotor brakes. None took me more back than this CAAM which must be some post-modern art piece that was inspired by Cannondale.

This also obviously came from Bike Rumor.

This also obviously came from Bike Rumor.

I mean who doesn’t want a road fork that is a triple clamp and only has one leg. And you know, this miracle bike is only possible thanks to engineers finally, after us all begging them to do so, figured out how to put disc brakes on road bikes. We can also thank the engineers for giving SRAM the ability to bring bar ends to road bikes. Sure we absolutely have to have those grabbers on the road, but the real story is the return of Onza.

I have no idea where I stole this photo from. I found it on Bing.

I have no idea where I stole this photo from. I found it on Bing.

Damn! That’s sexy.

And that’s about all I can remember. Granted I was completely drunk the whole time and could be seen hanging out with some guy that went by Bernard and had a funny mustache. He also spoke in the worst Italian accent I have ever heard. Come to think of it, I think he was Italian.

Fortunately, I am back in the states where we don’t really care about anything that has to do with bikes, except for that week where we all get together in Vegas and pretend that what we are doing is “business” related and we make sure to save all of our receipts.

Speaking of Interbike, I will be there Thursday and Friday. I make no promises as to whether there will be updates here or not. It will really depend on the internet service of the cheap hotel at which I am staying. I do promise that I will tweet at least one picture each day. Follow me @mcaknuckler or #tbif. It should be fun, unless it isn’t and then it won’t be.

Apparently, this whole ______bike thing has found its franchise everywhere. There is Eurobike, Interbike, Outerbike, Afterbike and for the past few years there has been Underbike.

I’ve thought, “Hey, that looks fun. I should go to that.” For the past few years, and I’ve never actually made it. “Well,” I says to myself. I says, “Well, this year I promise that I will make just as much effort as every year in the past to make it.” Yup, that’s what I says. If I’m sure it will be fun if I make it, but if I don’t I’m sure there will be plenty of other douchebags to tell you about it.

And I think that brings us to a close today. We may not have revolutionized the world, or the bicycle, but we did waste plenty of time.

P. L. and R.

 

 

 

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