Fingernail Clippers Suck!

The start of the Tour of Utah in Brian Head.

I hate cutting my finger nails.

Which has nothing to do with the Tour of Utah photo to the left. That has more to do with the fact that I went and watched the Tour on Tuesday and realized that A) the Tour of Utah is really fucking cool. 2) Roadies go way too fast, it’s hard to get a good picture.

But back to my dilemma, because I am confident that this will be relevant to all of you, somehow.

I hate to cut my fingernails. Not because it’s a tedious task that never gets finished, or that it just seems ridiculous that we ever have to do this, but due to the fact that finding a descent set of clippers is nigh impossible. I am a bit of a tool snob, which goes great with everything else in my life. I guess you could really just call me a snob. But I do like tools that are well built and that work. Fingernail clippers are tools and I cannot find a good one.

I could understand this problem if I wasn’t willing to spend the appropriate amount of money to procure a quality set of clippers. Maybe I’m looking in the wrong places, but I can’t find a set of clippers for more than $7. And that version isn’t worth a shit.

It doesn’t strike me as a difficult thing to manufacture, but when I cut my nails I worry about the clippers breaking. The lever bends and flexes and just when I’m sure the fatigue life has been met, my nail snaps off. This is how things go, except for when the fatigue life is met and the fucking clippers break. I have resorted, more than once, to using my flush cut clippers I purchased from Snap-On for this duty. They chop the shit out of fingernails, and flush like.

Not sure if I just have superman like fingernails or if this is a problem that most of you experience.

Speaking of superman, I got a new bike and when I ride it, it makes me feel like superman and I didn’t even wear my cape.

The Turbo gives me a smile and makes me feel like superman.
The Turbo gives me a smile and makes me feel like superman.

Call me a cheater, call me what you will, but I got one and I like it.

One thing I’m not too keen on is this,


 One of the current company owners was on the other end and he coldly started, “I am terminating you. Your email password has been changed and your building access code has been deleted.  You can arrange to get your personal things on Tuesday.” And with that (no cause was given, aka terminated without cause) my life at Serotta the company, came to an abrupt end.

I’ve never been a huge fan of Serotta bikes, per se, however, it was nice to know they were there. There in their pretentious way, snubbing their nose at the cycling industry as a whole and doing things, “their way.” Anyone who owns one, will more than actively engage anyone willing to listen to the fact that they are the absolute best bikes ever made. Ever! And the person that made that possible was Mr. Serotta.

And with one cold call, the company that bears his name gave him the axe.

It’s just one example of what, in my way of seeing things, is going wrong in this world. A short-sighted, profit-now vision of how businesses should be run. The mom-and-pop mentality of starting a business from the ground up and growing it so the family can have a future, just doesn’t seem to exist anymore. Instead, the Pop CEO has been replaced with some douchebag with an MBA whose only purpose is to make short term profit so he can max out his bonuses and once the company can no longer hold onto its customers because of the short-sighted decisions being made, bails and lives in luxury, thanks to his big bonuses.

And maybe that is why I can’t find a descent fucking fingernail clipper.

P. L. and R.


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