When I was a wee little tike, I spent a fair amount of time on the side of a car handing tools to my dad who was lying underneath. I quickly learned the names of tools and as I got older we began a game of trying to guess what size would fit the bolt before we grabbed the wrench/socket.
During one of these times, I asked my dad about a tool that I had seen one of the neighbor kids use. Said kid had told me that you could fix anything with Vice Grips. I had never seen such a tool and seeing that my dad did fix anything, I found it odd that I hadn’t seen him use this obviously ingenious invention. I don’t recall his exact words, but I do remember the gist of it. If you have to “fix” something using Vice Grips, it’s probably not worth fixing because it will be more broken when you are done.
It wasn’t often that we used the crescent either. As Super D put it, the crescent is a great tool for bending metal.
The point, use the right tool for the right job. This concept has stuck with me. I don’t own Vice Grips and can count on one hand the times in my life that I have used them.
I also don’t like bikes that are supposed to be do-it-all styled machines. Much like Vice Grips, I find that they can do most everything, but they don’t do any of it very well. They leave me wishing for my hardtail on the smooth stuff and for my Enduro when things enter the gnar-gnar category. And just like Vice Grips, you won’t find one in my tool box.
I bought my first cyclocross bike in 2009. It was a Specialized Tricross Singlespeed and I have owned a cross bike ever since. Much in contradiction with my above taste for tools, I quickly found the cross bike was ill-suited for many different tasks and while it didn’t do any of them well, it made all of them more fun. The slightly larger volume tires made urban commuting more fun because you feel like you can bunny hop without losing any teeth. It can handle singletrack, and while it may rattle your brain loose, it also brings a big smile to your lips. Hell, I even did Slotoja on mine this year, and yup, it was slower than all the other bikes on the tour (granted it also had the slowest engine).
I purchased my current bike about two weeks prior to said tour, built it up, did some commuting on it and then rode to Jackson Hole to get a beer.
Luckily for me, I tried the Vice Grips of bikes and found out that my tool analogy held true in the sense that bikes built for specific purposes do those tasks extremely well. The Cyclocross style bike, as far as I can tell, is designed to be carried up stairs, showered in beer and then sent to wallow in the mud. I’ve done most of those things and it handled them all like a champ, but what it really does best is make every trail harder.
Yup, you read that right. Cyclocross bikes are harder to ride on trails than any mountain bike that I have thrown a hairy leg over. And that’s what’s so awesome’s about them’s.
I must admit that the Poppy Trail at night on a cross bike is one of the funnest rides you can experience. You see, riding is supposed to be hard. I prefer riding when each move is part of a large puzzle that I’m just trying to link together. And once I’ve put that puzzle together about a million times, the only way to refurbish my joy glands is to find a way to bring back the challenge. Skinny tires and drop bars pretty much master that task.
As it’s been said, Making Cycling Difficult.
With that preface, I would like to introduce you to my favoritest bike.
And while this post may have digressed into a different category, I really just want to tell you how much my bike doesn’t suck.
Not that any of you would really care, but here’s the spec list.
- Ultegra Tubeless wheelset
- Ultegra cranks
- Some cheap ass Specialized aluminum bar
- SRAM brake levers
- CX 70 canti’s
And that’s about it.
Cross bikes are way better than Vice Grips.
P. L. and R.