The Freedom of Enslavement

Sometimes I have really good ideas. Like just this morning, I crawled out of bed and thought, “I should probably put some pants on.” Words to live by my friends, words to live by. Unfortunately these bouts with the fantastic are few and far between and I find myself wandering around the house without any pants looking a little too much like Donald Duck or Pato Lukas for the spanish speaking crowd.

1.

division into two parts, kinds, etc.; subdivision into halves or pairs.

2.

division into two mutually exclusive, opposed, or contradictory groups: a dichotomy between thought and action.

3.

Botany . a mode of branching by constant forking, as in some stems, in veins of leaves, etc.

4.

Astronomy . the phase of the moon or of an inferior planet when half of its disk is visible.

We haven’t seen many decrees from the Almighty Chaco, CFO of Mooseknuckler Cycling Alliance and affiliates, Inc. for some time. Albeit, he descended from his throne today and decreed: Chaos shall rule. I do not want cohesion but disorder. I do not want enslavement but freedom.

I guess I better obey.

And then I found myself wandering around the house with nothing but a t-shirt on. With a beer in my hand wishing there was something that I had to do so that I could do something. With the sad realization that when I am alone I do the exact same things, I just do them without hiding.

The internet stopped working.

I tramped around with my t-shirt and my beer like a toddler who was told they could not have a popsicle. In adult terms, I lost my shit and I let it all go and I let it all out. Soon you were standing in the doorway wondering what the fuck was going on. I stopped, looking at you and wondering why you didn’t understand. You just looked back at me with that look of disdain and distrust. To be fair, the distrust was mutual even if you owned it more than I did. Maybe it was time, maybe it wasn’t.

The automobile set them free. They quickly found that putting a few miles between themselves and the town gave them a place that they could do whatever they wanted.  The feeling was contagious and spread throughout the world. Soon the world was a buzz with the fumes and the disease. We moved away from each other fleeing the crowded areas and our waistlines got bigger and our cities spread out like cancer across the landscape. And suddenly there was no alternative to the car.
 
Three men stood on the edge of the gallows. All three knew they were about to die and all three were waiting for the moment when the ground would fall out from beneath them. But one of the three, choosing to determine his own end suddenly leapt from the height and fell to his death. The other two in horror watched as his body flailed through the void and crushed against the ground with the thud that only a body hitting the ground can make. And then the ground fell out from under them, and they were hung.

 

This entry was posted in Uncategorized, Useless Banter. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Freedom of Enslavement

  1. Neetrith says:

    Very good stuff. Isn’t Pato Lukas Daffy Duck though?….;)

  2. Knuckler says:

    I must admit that my cartoon trivia is subpar. As in, I don’t know the difference between Donald Duck and Daffy Duck, so if you say so, I believe you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This blog is kept spam free by WP-SpamFree.